Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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