we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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