We got so high we made milksteak
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
