Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
