I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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