i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
