living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
