your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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