Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
