I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
