I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
