so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
