I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
