Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
