I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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