You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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