I just pynch a tree in the face
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
