after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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