Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he thought i was a dude.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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