is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
