She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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