it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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