I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
So. Much. Porn.
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