im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
