ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
