how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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