ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
