so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
