Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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