Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
