She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
