I'll bet she douches with gravy.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
