she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
