Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
