So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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