it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
