small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
