it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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