You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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