I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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