I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
