I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
