I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
