He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
