508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
