who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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