She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
