Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Who put my cat in the fridge?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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