This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
