Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I will pee on everything he values.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
