In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
