She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
