i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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