Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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